Leaving Japan

I have less than a week before I leave Japan and its kind of bittersweet in a way, but deep down, I can feel it, I can't wait to hit the road.

I think this feeling of bittersweet is almost necessary after leaving a town where you've lived for a year. But I ask myself, would I rather be here, or somewhere else, and without hesitation I say, somewhere else.


Looking back the past year has been the hardest in my life. Not because its a new place or because its a culture shock, but because I think it challenged my character, there was a period where I questioned who I was identity wise, I felt a pressure to adopt to a culture, way of life, thinking that I wasn't used to and I definitly felt the affects.

In less than a week I'll be on the road, heading to Bangkok and I can't wait. I'm not nervous, I feel almost calm, settled and relaxed. I say bring it on.

The New Year

Its this time of year. To many its a new start where they want to through away the past, restart fresh. To others its a new year, just any ordinary year.

Well to me, its both. I'd say I want to do better this year, but i say that every year.
I have a few new years resolutions, sure, but I have resolutions every year.

I guess the biggest idea floating around in my head right now is something that hit me hard in the past few months.

I want to be somebody, do something, and don't want to be ordinary. The difficulty is how, in what sense, what do I want to accomplish.

I want to succeed no doubt, no question.

So to this year, my resolution and my goal is to answer this question.

How and in what way will I leave my signature in this world.

Spontaneity

Training yourself to be spontaneous!!

Have you ever had those moments where you look back and you wish you had spoken up. Something little, even a little compliment, or an observation, anything that could have sparked a conversation.

I almost have one of these moments daily, and many times I don't take the chance to pipe up. Then i look back and wish, damnit I wish I had said something.

My goal is to practice and train being spontaneous. By starting with a small step of saying a single comment. Simply by saying, "I like your nails" or "cool outfit". Lets be spontaneous.

new job

I quit my hosting job a month back and I have to say, life has really gotten much better. I can say the past 6 months has been the hardest months of life. New country, no friends, new jobs, different language, different everything. Its been a hard 6 months, most likely cause I havent had any real good friends.

Today I started a new job at a yakinuku restaurant. It was pretty hard, alot of new things to learn, all kinds of food, i can't read the kanji, and alot of new words, but it was fun cause it was a new scene and all of the staff was really nice. I hope japan takes a turn for the better.

Only thing is now I'm super busy. I'm hardly going to have any free nights cause I want to work, practice my Japanese and dive into the culture.

Things are getting to be more fun though so hopefully the next 6 months will be more fun and enjoyable.

Experience

Lately I've been going to a lot of bars by myself. I've never done it before, ever. In the few years i've been able to go drinking, (3 years) i've never once gone out for a drink by myself. At first i was nervous, wondering what I was supposed to do. But after just entering one bar, i was totally comfortable. Many bars in Japan, depending on the type, people frequent them by themselves so I was able to strike up conversations with a whole bunch of strangers, and all the bartenders were awesome.